George W. Bush died today according to a South African TV station. During one of its broadcasts, ETV News ran a moving banner across the screen announcing the death of the former US president.
Minutes later, jubilant crowds thronged the streets across the nation hoisting up flags and banners in celebration. In the capital Pretoria, tens of thousands of people marched upon the Union Buildings which include the official seat of the South African government. There they sang songs, danced and even joyously wept. Some reporters at the scene are said to have heard clapping and cheering coming from within the parliament building itself.
In Johannesburg, home to 3.8 million people, around 750,000 revellers danced in the city’s large Botanical Garden. Fireworks were set off, bungee-jumps erected and roses handed out to passers-by. Unfortunately, the local council is said to be devastated after the garden’s main attraction, the famous Rose Garden, was left bereft of its 10,000 roses.
Table Top Mountain, which overlooks the city of Cape Town saw its largest influx of visitors on record. Close to a million people flocked to the flat-topped mountain in order to attend a gigantic prayer service in thanksgiving for the day’s extraordinary news. One of South Africa’s prominent bishops was on hand to lead the act of worship.
However, it was later discovered that the TV moving banner news had been a mistake which had taken place when a technician had pressed the wrong button. The staff member had selected the “broadcast live for transmission” button instead of the test-run alternative. Apparently he had just wanted to see what the test banner would look like and had typed in “Bush is dead” as a gap filler.
“The technical director pressed the wrong button, it took a second for the words to appear and then the words were on screen for only three seconds before they were taken off.” said spokesman Vasili Vass.
Unfortunately, the correction was announced on television after most people had left their houses to celebrate the original, but mistaken, news piece. Police and the army have been put on high alert in case of widespread violence and rioting once the general public hear of the corrected news. It’s expected alcohol sales and the use of firearms will increase dramatically over the next week as people try to dull the pain.
The new US president, Barack Obama, has so far refused to comment on the story. Some Western media journalists are calling this the ‘Bushism of Bushisms’.
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
The president is dead. Long live the president!!
In the words of our great former President, “Trust but verify”, idiots.
Very telling!
Although I can’t imagine us celebrating the death of anyone… I can believe that one of our local stations could make this kind of fuck up. Amusing stuff!
I guess they didn’t get the news huh? ~ Bush tripled direct humanitarian and development aid to the world’s most impoverished continent since taking office and recently vowed to double that increased amount by 2010 — to nearly $9 billion.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/12/30/AR2006123000941.html
I suppose they are much more pleased to have their 5 year olds digging copper for China. Shameful!
Indeed Candy. This is a satire story but based on a true story regarding the South African news station accidentally using the moving banner announcing ‘Bush is dead’. Hopefully most people won’t take the ‘celebrations’ as fact.
Yes, hopefully… but it looks like someone did (above comment)!
HA! Omg… that’s amazing…
I just think it’s awful how people so quickly forget how wonderful Commander Guy was! You would never see people running into the streets celebrating his death in the United States. Well, not all of the United States. I’m pretty sure there’s a corner of Utah or Idaho, maybe even Oklahoma, were they love and cherish our Decider. It’s probably in those white sections of the Sprint coverage map, you know where there’s no signals of any kind and most of the folk are running around in a daze like the fabled Japanese soldiers still fighting World War II into the sixties because they never learned it ended. Bush is like totally popular there.
I’m sure there are still a couple of 90 year-old Japanese soldiers running around in Japan’s forests somewhere.
I’ve always thought it was so strange how human’s seem to completely believe everything they are told by the media. I thought it was just the US. Guess not.
I think it is a worldwide phenomenon.
Brain dead.