Doyle: I think most pundits expected Argentina to cruise past Germany seeing as the Germans have had a suspect defence in recent matches. Argentina’s superior attackers should have given the opposing goalkeeper a lot more of a test.

Hibbert: Typical German efficiency and organisation which constantly see them hitting above their weight. On paper, you would not have expected Germany to reach the Semi-Finals but as with previous competitions, you just can’t rule out the Germans, ever.

You have to admit though that they do have some star players like Miroslav Klose, Bastian Schweinsteiger and the little heard of Thomas Müller.

Doyle: All great players but compared to the skills of Lionel Messi, Carlos Tévez and Gonzalo Higuaín, they are not in the same league. Argentina should have won.

Langton: You forgot to mention the young star Mesut Oezil. Brilliant player who has been the revelation of the whole tournament rather like Michael Owen back in the 1998 World Cup. A wonderful story of Germany’s modern and multicultural society. Kevin-Prince Boateng is another of these success stories.

Hibbert: Think you’ll find that it’s Jérôme Boateng, Kevin-Prince’s younger brother. Kevin-Prince Boateng actually plays for the Ghanaian national team. Apparently he decided at the last moment back in 2007, that he didn’t want to play for Germany and would instead play for Ghana. The two nations actually played one another in the group stages of this World Cup, with the two brothers facing one another on opposing sides. First time in World Cup history that this phenomenon has ever happened.

Langton: Sign of the times and a welcome one at that. Nations evolve and change and this should be seen as a good thing. Mesut Oezil of Turkish descent will soon become one of the greatest German players ever.

Pilcher: Yeah, just a shame he doesn’t care for the German anthem and recites the Koran instead.

Langton: Perhaps he can’t sing and your Islamaphobia is doing nothing for this discussion.

Doyle: Going back to the match. I was expecting Argentina to make a comeback in the second half but that never materialised. Germany in fact repeated the feat they carried off against England, where they made use of counter attacks, pace and highly functional team play. Three times in one World Cup tournament where they have scored four goals in one match. They have got to be favourites now, right?

I should think so but I still fancy Spain to finally reach the summit.

Langton: Can’t see it. This is Germany’s year. No doubt about it.

Hibbert: It’s not a game for everyone. The game is also known as Rummy-O or Rummycube and was invented by Ephraim Hertzano, a Romanian-born Israeli. Kodkod is the company that sells it and the most intriguing part in all this is that Spain was in fact the host nation of last year’s Rummikub World Championship.

Admin: A manager of the Abacus chain told a Spanish newspaper:

“We carried the game until now because it is very interesting from a pedagogical perspective … but as a cooperative, we see what is going on, and we must be sensitive to the social situations.”

Doyle: The stores say they removed the Rummikub games in order to replace them with a cheaper Chinese version of the game known as ‘Rummy’. Naturally, they deny that pro-Palestinian groups were part of the equation when deciding to change from an Israeli supplier to a Chinese one.

Hibbert: One should note that the Israeli version will still be sold by Abacus in the company’s catalogue and also be sold directly to schools which regularly use the product as part of lessons. What one should read into this, I don’t know.

Admin: In economical terms I can just about understand it but if this is indeed a move, as suggested by the Abacus manager’s words, then the moral and ethical abyss which Spain faces is gargantuan. China is one of the worst human rights violators on the planet.

Hibbert: You can say that again. Political freedoms in China are severely restricted and the treatment of religious minorities, including Christians, Muslims and Buddhists, is nothing short of diabolical. More people are executed in China each year than the rest of the world combined. Death is the punishment even for some white-collar crimes such as embezzlement and tax fraud. Then there’s the treatment of rural workers, ethnic minorities and forced abortions and sterilizations.

Dijkstra: Like swapping products made in Britain for products made in Iran?

Admin: Yes.

News story: Spanish stores boycott Israeli game.

Admin: Indeed. The interesting fact in all this is the rise in the number of men seeking help at specialist units set up for just such problems. Approximately 65% more calls were made to the FMU (Forced Marriage Unit) this year than the previous. The young men are often forced into marriage because their family suspect or know that they are homosexual.

Doyle: That means the family’s honour is at stake which is an extremely important aspect of many South Asian societies. So much so, that many would prefer their children to be killed than reveal a secret that we in the West would barely bat an eyelid to.

Dijkstra: I guess this is a big issue and rallying point amongst British lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people?

Admin: No.

Read more: Specialist unit reports more male forced marriages. (BBC)

It may be, of course, a coincidence that the candidates, Diane Abbott MP and Yasmin Alibhai-Brown, a newspaper columnist, are both from ethnic minorities.

The rather taciturn ‘may be’, a useful get out of jail card, in this case highlights the seemingly convinced mind, behind the wording, regarding the guilt of the accused. A little later into the paragraph, linked to above, another nail in the coffin is nailed with the semi-cliché ‘a coincidence too far’.

The final paragraph of Spencer’s article is the one that caused most surprise however where he refers to Ms Abbott’s recent scolding on the BBC’s This Week.

And finally, by the way, what if it were true – what if West Indian mums do love their children more than the average, as measured by race? Neither Murray or Neil consider that possibility, which is a much more interesting question.

I wonder if he would have even dared put down in writing a contemplation, however weakly, of whether white mothers love their children more than black mothers? I highly doubt it. Remember Rod Liddle anyone?

Yasmin Alibhai-Brown is of course the women who accuses all non-white right-wingers as “Uncle Toms” and says ‘indigenous Britons’ deep down, want to tear ethnic minorities to pieces. You can read more of her diatribes here. Ugandan-born Alibhai-Brown, by the way, was given welcome sanctuary in Britain just before the expulsion of Ugandan Asians by Idi Amin.

Diane Abbott is the woman who claimed “blonde, blue-eyed Finnish girls” might be unsuitable to work in London hospitals because “may never have met a black person before”. Then of course there’s her more recent “West Indian mums will go to the wall for their children” in which she included herself in that category. This from a woman who was born in Paddington, London.

Update: You can read Douglas Murray’s reply to Richard Spencer here.

Event organisers including King Gordon Pendragon (formerly known as “that bastard in No.10″) and Butterfly Hazel admitted puzzlement as to why the numbers were much lower than the record-breaking 2009 gathering. Some have suggested the cooler than normal weather conditions as being a factor but sources close to King Gordon Pendragon admit the new influx of Liberal Democrats attending the event has soured the atmosphere for many previous attendees.

A former Stonehenge devotee, now in his late 70s, stated in a local Wiltshire newspaper the reason for his absence this year: “I ain’t a quiddle but it’s become all a nunny-fudge with them there Liberal Democrats comin’ with their zammy lot n’ spoilin’ what used to be a deedy n’ docy event”.

The entire Liberal Democrat party descended on Stonehenge this morning in order to, as their spokesman put it, “reconnect with Nature”. Chris Huhne was the only absentee, having already done his bit for Mother Nature with PR woman Carina Trimingham. Some reports also suggest that little Sarah Teather could have been offered as a sacrifice although English Heritage, the custodian of the Stonehenge site, are currently unaware of any such incidents.

A number of arrests were made overnight in relation to minor disorder and alcohol related offences and one person taken to hospital with a stray vuvuzela horn stuck up a bodily orifice. Organisers deemed the event a success albeit with a lower turn out. David Laws is expected to make a full recovery.

The omens for England looked bad when just ten minutes after the kick-off, a South African bird landed on the Algerian goal netting and began to admire the action. As Rooney and Heskey tried to find ways past the mundane Algerian defence, the bird did not appear to look unduly worried about the possibility of having to vacate its new home. The most humiliating moment came at half-time, when realising the sides would swap ends, the bird upped and flew across to the opposite goal netting.

Both teams were dire and after the match, it was deemed that the man-of-the-match be the anonymous bird that had provided so much entertainment to South African and Algerian fans in the stadium. Unfortunately, the bird was not able to pick up its reward after going missing. FIFA are apparently launching an enquiry against the England Football Association regarding the missing bird, with Rooney seen spitting feathers after walking off the pitch in disgust.

When interviewed about the cameras last year, local Muslim Councillor Salma Yaboob shrieked: “Residents have lost faith with the Zionist authorities for their sneaky handling of the matter! The Ummah will not be reassured until they have been told the locations of the hidden cameras too”.

A local Imam had a further problem with the surveillance cameras. Choosing to remain anonymous, the Islamic leader said through an interpreter: “These cameras … they should be covered up. Or moved. Our young are taken advantage of. My son and his son and his son after him, they are all menaced by these uncovered cameras! They provoke … they are provocative … they move their heads around when people walk by. They titillate … yes … they flirt and titillate with my son and his son and his son after him … they must be covered!”

Local council leaders and police have profusely apologised for the naked cameras found in Muslim areas of Birmingham. They have also written to local mosques explaining their ’stupidity’ and asking that the discount they enjoyed on their jizya tax be scrapped in penance. The surveillance camera burkas are expected to be applied within the coming days.

Some critics of the plans have stated that the burka will reduce the level of visibility that camera operators will have. With just a narrow slit across the camera lens, it has been suggested that up to 95% of the resulting image will be black. However, civil rights groups have scolded such criticisms.

Connie Fergus who is head of the ‘Liberty for Tyranny’ think-tank remarked on her twitter account: “How dare these Islamaphobic bigots impede on these people’s culture!” … “Have they not heard of the phrase, when in Brum, do as the Brummies do?”.

A Home Office spokeswoman under pressure from other Muslim communities across Britain said: ‘Work is already underway on CCTV regulation and the government will be bringing forward proposals to place burkas on all cameras where our hard working minorities might find offence. Naturally, Islam is a religion of peace and we condemn all hatred and intolerance against this peaceful and progressive section of our society”.

The most startling piece of evidence that has been leaked by the American Psycho Association, an organization believed to be closely monitoring the president, is the many months Mr Obama has been spending in his private swimming pool beneath the White House. Sources suggest the president has been trying to perfect the technique of walking on water but has so far found little success. Doctors are concerned that the disappointment of this failure is sending Mr Obama further into a state of psychosis.

Another situation that has experts worried is the president’s apparent lack of concern over the Deepwater Horizon oil spill which occurred recently in the Gulf of Mexico on April 20, 2010. As environmentalists, scientists, concerned citizens and BP try to find ways to stem the flow, Barack Obama has instead been playing rounds of golf and attending concerts by ageing rockers. When he did manage to visit the coast most affected by the oil spill, he spent most of the time waving to the crowds and asking whether the tar balls washing up on the beaches could be used in the creation of new basketballs.

One mental health expert suggested in a local Florida newspaper that the president might be suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD. The expert stated there were five main symptoms of NPD and that Mr Obama showed symptoms of each one.

“The president is obviously suffering from the 5 symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and these include being 1) a charlatan, 2) an exhibitionist, 3) imbued with avoidance features, 4) elitist and 5) paranoid.” wrote the expert.

He continued: “We can see all five symptoms manifesting themselves in Obama, such as the deception over his Islamic religion, his penchant for flexing his muscles to pretty ladies, his disdain of Massachusetts cops and his avoidance of the British Prime Minister which also leads into paranoia. Political contacts have suggested that Mr Obama is seeking a new defence strategy to be employed in case the British try to invade the United States after what he sees as an opening salvo from BP. This is utter lunacy of course, especially after seeing England’s leaking flotilla in the soccer match last week”.

President Barack Obama is sure to be aware of the growing concern over his mental health. It’s uncertain whether his private doctors will be able to relieve some of the symptoms long enough for America’s first black president to see out the the rest of his presidential term. Some insiders are believed to be asking Hollywood actor Jamie Foxx to act as an impersonation of Mr Obama should his mental state hit rock bottom.

World Cup organisers and local police have placed wanted posters of what they believe is the origin of the constant buzzing sound. A nameless biker has been riding from city to city across South Africa and circling the stadiums whilst the important group stages matches are playing out. Despite critics noting that the buzz is created by thousands of vuvuzelas, the local authorities are instead blaming the noise on a single individual. The suspect was captured on camera a couple of days ago whilst speeding away from the Polokwane Stadium in Limpopo province.

The suspect is described as white, portly and riding a dirty black motorcycle. His nationality is unknown. Whilst the ‘vuvuzela bandit’ as the media have labelled him continues to remain a mystery, some in South Africa are offering possible identities to who the obnoxious noise maker might be. A journalist for the little known Zuma Times has speculated that the biker is a Mr James Corden, a B-list celebrity in England who after a spat with Star Trek actor Sir Patrick Stewart, lost his mind and went berserk across the Rainbow Nation.

Some experts in Britain believe however that the mystery biker is in fact a ploy to reflect attention away from the thousands of cheap plastic vuvuzelas being sold in South African cities. Television footage also shows fans from all nations blowing on the horns inside the stadiums which leaves little doubt in many people’s minds that they are the real culprit. The search continues.

Thousands of football fans worldwide have complained about the drone of the vuvuzelas, which have been described as like a swarm of bees or a pregnant water buffalo in labour. Some angry football fans have claimed the endless noise is worse than their wives’ nagging and want to hear the offensive sound silenced as well as the vuvuzelas.

One complaint read “What an absolutely disgraceful, ear-wrenching noise,” whilst another said “Gordon Brown’s Scottish drawl wasn’t half as bad as this racket”.

A website called Ban Vuvusela has even been set up where football fans and desperate housewives can vote on whether they want to see the horns banned from future matches. At the time of writing, the ‘Votes to Ban’ enormously outnumber those of the ‘Votes to Keep’. It’s not hard to assume that latter votes come from proud South Africans and the deaf.

However, FIFA president Sepp Blatter has called on the vuvuzelas to continue and accused those with bleeding ears of discrimination against Africans. World Cup organisers have also joined the chorus of those in favour of keeping the horns, claiming the plastic instruments as being a “potent symbol of the tournament” and a good way to drown out the sound of rape alarms beeping across the cities.

It remains to be seen whether the vuvuzelas will be banned from football stadiums, like they are from South African rugby stadiums. With more and more people switching off due to the racket, it’s certain that unless action is taken, there will be a large increase of anusimpedimentia cases referred to local hospitals.