The topic of conversation had steered through the minefields of the global economy and the speech by Australian premier Kevin Rudd which had taken place earlier the same day. After criticising Rudd, Clarkson went on to say of Brown:

‘(In the UK) we’ve got this one-eyed Scottish idiot, he keeps telling us everything’s fine and he’s saved the world and we know he’s lying, but he’s smooth at telling us.’

The remark caused consternation in the offices of the Royal National Cyclops Institute based in London. Chief executive of the RNCI, Polly Themus, angrily commented on the insensitivity that the popular presenter had shown to the thousands of suffers across the United Kingdom.

‘I’d be quite happy to show Mr Clarkson the positive contribution people with one eye can make to society.’

However, she was soon being ushered away by security guards as she brandished a razor blade and bared her teeth at a magazine image of the pot-bellied Top Gear star.

The BBC were quick to issue an apology for any offence caused especially in light of the recent blunders by the broadcasting corporation. A shocked Clarkson, who is paid £2million a year, also fell on his knees in sorrow and repentance:

‘In the heat of the moment I made a remark about the Prime Minister’s personal appearance for which, upon reflection, I apologise.’

Iain Gray, the Scottish Labour leader, said: ‘Such a comment is really a reflection on Jeremy Clarkson and speaks for itself. Most people here are proud that the Prime Minister is a Scot and believe him to be the right person to get the UK through this global economic crisis.’

Gordon Brown lost the sight in one eye during his teens when an accident occurred during a rugby match. He declined to comment on the situation but was said to be keeping an eye on developments.