It’s expected that within days of taking office she will announce plans to rebuild the Icelandic economy, reverse the plummeting unemployment figures and also wage war on Scotland.

A war with Gordon Brown’s homeland has been on the cards ever since October 2008, when the Scottish-born British prime minister made the decision to freeze the assets of Icelandic banks and companies in the UK, by using anti-terrorist legislation. Then Prime Minister Geir Haarde, put the blame for Iceland’s collapse squarely on British shoulders. The IMF predicts Iceland’s economy is facing its biggest slump since the country won full independence from Denmark in 1944.

Media propoganda, including military parades and television adverts have been whipping the Nordic hordes into a frenzy of anti-Scottish hatred. Effigies of kilted Scots have been hung under the few trees that grow on the freezing rocky island whilst hundreds of shoes were thrown at the British embassy gates in a protest last Saturday.

Gunnhildur Gylfason, one of the protestors who was apparently confused by the differences between Scottish and English politicians, shouted through a microphone:

“Wendy Alexander, are you watching? Ann Widdecombe, are you listening? Maggie Thatcher can you still hear? … We’re coming to get you! Our dykes are bigger than yours! Down down Scot-a-land!!”

Johanna Sigurdardottir, 66, is currently the social affairs minister and has little experience of military conflict or foreign policy. Annalysists predict she will however provide a flurry of jobs in the longboat building sector as well as in the metal industries. The United Nations plans to hold a security council meeting early next week and is expected to condemn Israel for the tension between the two Atlantic countries.

Gordon Brown has brushed off speculation of an impending war with Iceland as ludicrous.