As Swine Flu fever hits the nightclubs of Afghanistan, the head keeper of the national zoo has had to move Khanzir into quarantine. In a nation where pork chops are illegal and pigs as rare as a woman’s bare face, there has been a lot of confusion and fear amongst the general population.

As Aziz Gul Saqib, the zoo’s director put it: “The only reason we moved him was because Afghan people don’t have a lot of knowledge about swine flu, and so when they see a pig they get worried and think they will get ill.”

An elderly gentleman who was visiting the zoo said: “These pigs all have the flu, you can see their noses running when you watch them on Al Geographic Channel. I don’t want my grandsons coming here with this dirty ill creature roaming around. We had a hard enough time getting our womenfolk quarantined. I say kill it, it is Allah’s will!”

Khanzir the lonely pig was given to Kabul Zoo by China in 2002. His zoo keepers are hoping his forced isolation will only be a temporary solution that will last no longer than a few days. The director hopes that they can soon find a female mate for the frisky pig but the H1N1 virus is likely to delay this action.

“It is a dangerous and difficult time to get a new pig for our pig”: said one of the keepers. “Ideally we’d like to get him four.”