Doctor Vince Pawson, one of the world’s foremost experts in cat physiology has described it as the most worrying of modern medical events and warns people to take the advice of their local veterinarian.

“Soon, it is going to be inevitable that this will make headline news across the nation and indeed the world. While most cats will survive the loss of their tail, as long as the resulting wound is cared for, it will nevertheless alter the general balance and behaviour of our feline companions drastically.”

Animal charities and veterinary associations countrywide and abroad are soon to begin delivering leaflets to registered cat owners informing them of the spreading condition and its symptoms. It’s not believed as yet that other animals, including humans, will be affected but tests are ongoing.

There is however some positive news. The condition, if caught early, can be reversed. Pet owners will be advised to undertake certain exercises with their cats regardless of whether the animal shows common symptoms.

Below are five of the twenty-three preventative measures that the Lancashire Veterinary Council will soon release in detailed brochures, including diagrams and charts.

1. Massage the region above where the tail meets the cat’s back. Make gentle circular movements for around ten minutes at least three times a day. This simple action will promote blood flow to the area.

2. Check to see if the cat has impacted anal sacs. These are pea-sized sac-like structures located under the skin around the anus. Although rare, these sacs are liable to burst when the anal sphincter muscles are contracted and the resulting acid coat itself around the cat’s tail. This will lead to skin legions and the accelerated onset of the new condition. If found, then seek advice with your local vet immediately.

3. The lactic acid in the milk we drink is both softening and exfoliating. Numerous admirers of milk baths including Cleopatra and Queen Elizabeth I of England have attested to their healing benefits. It’s advisable to use the kitchen or bathroom sink when soaking your cat in ordinary cow’s milk. First dip the animal’s hind legs into the pre-heated milk before lowering the entire body and most importantly, the tail, under the surface. Do this once every day, however don’t let the cat drink the milk afterwards.

4. It’s important to keep the muscles around the bottom of the spine strong and nimble. Find a room in your house with lots of space and free of sharp edges like the corners of tables or bookshelves. For the first minute, kneel calmly with the cat and assure it with loving strokes and sounds. Then slowly stand, wrap your hands around the middle of the cat’s tail and start to swing the animal around the room. Aim to make at least three revolutions every four seconds before decreasing the speed as the exercise draws to a close. It’s advisable to wear a thick jacket and gloves for this action.

5. Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), also known as electroshock is a controversial psychiatric treatment. However, veterinarians have recently been looking into the possible short and long term effects the practice might have on the new condition. It is important to keep all children and family members with heart pacemakers installed in a different room if and when you decide to experiment on your cat. Further details of the equipment needed for this treatment is provided in Section B of the brochure however a 60W lamp has been found to work sufficiently.

The brochure, which will include these five points and eighteen more valuable and helpful tips for stopping your cat’s tail from falling off, is set to be published and made available to the public in March 2009.

The Turritopsis Nutricula is a hydrozoan and is the only known species on the planet that can revert back to a younger self. It’s able to do this through the cell development process of transdifferentiation which can be repeated indefinitely. They originate in the Caribbean but have now spread across the globe.

Dr Maria Miglietta of the Smithsonian Tropical Marine Institute said: “We are looking at a worldwide silent invasion.”

Marine biologists and geneticists have frantically been studying the animal to see exactly how the Turritopsis Nutricula is able to reverse the ageing process. A special charity was established last month called “The Fountain of Youth”. One of its co-founders is the Welsh singer, Sir Tom Jones, who has donated $50 million of his own money to the cause.

Speaking in Los Angeles, the granny’s favourite pop star admitted that age was a major concern of his. Just two years ago his plastic surgeon, Günther von Hagens, told him that his features might not be able to take any more improvement operations.

Instead, Sir Tom Jones has taken to the more dynamic solution of coating his hair and beard with the 5mm long immortal – but dead jellyfish. Three of his personal bodyguards were seen trawling the waters off Barbados last week on his yacht, the “Love Boat 2″.

Sir Tom Jones said in a recent interview: “I’ve been dying my hair for years now and it’s well known I’ve spent over £30,000 a year on surgery. When I came across an article in the New Scientist about this jellyfish, I was over the moon! With a bit of luck, within 12 months, our team of researchers will have found a way of reversing the age process in humans too. In the meantime, I have decided to coat myself with thousands of the now-dead Turritopsis Nutricula in the hope that their cells will seep into my hair follicles and skin and work their magic. You never know.”

Hundreds of plastic surgeons remain sceptical however and have even called for a boycott of the charity.